An Open Letter to the Pool

Dear Swimming Pool,

Look, I know it's been too long. It's presumptuous of me to think I could stay away, come back now and think things would be just like they've always been. I know that I screwed up.

We've always gotten along so well (except for that one time with the over-chlorinated water and the screaming children.) I appreciate your gentle lapping waves that spring into my mouth while I'm trying to breathe, the way your lane lines scrape against my arm/torso/legs as I struggle to swim in a straight line and of course, all of the random items (band aids, metal objects, indescribable black lumps, etc.) that appear on your floor. My recent visit did not disappoint on any of these points.

Now, I know my last visit was less than spectacular. There was a lot of time I spent flailing about instead of propelling myself in a forward motion. I bobbed up and down, my limbs moving in a motion that should have resembled swimming, but really just looked like I was trying to claw my way through the water to the other end of the pool. I promise it will get better.

So I write this letter not only as an apology, but also as a thank you. Despite my lengthy absence from your presence and dismal attempt at swimming, our visit was quite nice. I look forward to a long, productive visit again very soon...maybe even tomorrow!

All the best,
Melanie -- your water-logged friend

P.S. I didn't realize that my suit was so threadbare. I promise next time I'll wear a suit that's not almost see-through. There are children at the pool and I don't need to scare any of them.